Ekta | wisdomekta

Disclaimer- This post is part of the trait-series-for-kids, which I began to search and write for my kids in 2019. With this series of blog posts containing knowledge-slash-experience, I pray from the almighty that our kids have a simple and magical life. The contents of the series are the outcome of some research, readings, first-hand experiences, and self-reflection. Dear Söhne (Sons in German), Life is wonderfully simple, and yet sometimes we make it a bit more complex than it needs to be! I recently had an intense experience where I fainted. It felt like my world was spinning, followed by a wave of numbness and some intense vomiting. Throughout it all, my mind was stubbornly focused on the commitment I had made for the day, even though my body was clearly telling me to slow down. It might seem easy for you to say, " Mumma, you should rest! " but I tangled myself up with the importance of my promises. That experience encouraged me to hit the reset button on my goals and ...

Disclaimer- This post is part of the trait-series-for-kids , which I began to search and write for my kids in 2019. With this series of blog posts containing knowledge-slash-experience, I pray from the almighty that our kids have a simple and magical life. The contents of the series are the outcome of some research, readings, first-hand experiences, and self-reflection. Dear Mwana (s) (son in Kenya)!      A s you grow up, life throws all kinds of unexpected stuff at you. You try your best to figure out why things happen and what you can learn from them. Believe me, today, watching you question things and come up with your innocent, unique observations gives me a great chance to learn from you. This blog post is a reminder from your mom that you're one of a kind. Your thoughts, ideas, and actions are totally unique to you, and no one can do things quite like you. I really mean it, and its not just because I'm your mom. So, no matter what anyone says, always sta...

Beste zonen ( Dear Sons in Dutch),      I am preparing you to be brave and face the worldly challenge with patience in heart. But the experiences are different for everyone, and I also understand you will face your set of challenges in life. During those times, I urge you to be brave enough to seek help without hesitation.      Recently, while waiting for a flight at Mumbai airport, I overheard a loud conversation that automatically reached my ears. The conversation went like this- ….. Person A- “My sister never help me.” Person B- “Why, what happened…” Person A - “Ärey I helped her so much as soon as she asked me, but she was not there for me when I required.” Person B- “But did you even bother to ask her or seek help by direct communication” Person A- “Well, she should have understood; why do I need to ask her. She is my family and must know what I need then.” …..      I kept thinking about this conversation on my flight, realising...

Are we, as parents raising them correctly? Whether the time spent with them is sufficient? Are they content? Am I doing things correctly? Should I be more relaxed or easygoing with them? Should I train them or let them choose? As a growing mother of two kids, there are moments when my “common sense” takes the sideways. Several doubts hit hard, leaving me emotionally burdened and guilty, and overcharged with the questions like these. The distress is humongous on my psyche, especially when my introverted elder and extroverted younger son are interacting with other kids and are in a severe misunderstanding with others. I am an overprotective mother and working on becoming more flexible. Still, I acknowledge that they need to learn lessons themselves ( because that is the best way to learn ). While I try to give them their space and see them struggle …and pray for them to do better… those moments of standing and watching are a pain in the heart and soul. I recently finished this book reco...

  Dear Sons , Today let me tell you about one of  the characteristics I wish you to develop as I find this unique virtue valuable if you wish to excel in life. “ Delayed Gratification ” is one of the moderately dead virtues of our times. We are living in times when instant results and immediate pleasure hold the upper hand and we are kind of dictated by such acts or pleasures wherein the instantaneous results come in handy. However, let me tell you an old Hindi proverb सब्र का फल मीठा होता है which means don't be in a hurry and worry, have forbearance and the outcomes will be in your favor . I know that this may seem somewhat bizarre to you and the immediate question that might enter your mind “ how are you certain whether the fruit of patience shall be sweet or bitter ”…well let me explain to you a little. Remember the times (which are yet to come) when I shall ask (rather order) you to do some exercise first instead of sleeping/watching television with a guarantee of chocol...

  Disclaimer- This post is part of trait-series-for-kids which I began to search and write for my kids in 2019. With this series of blog posts containing knowledge-slash-experience, I pray from the almighty that our kids have a simple but magical life. The contents of the series are the outcome of a rigorous search, several readings and first-hand experiences, and self-reflection. Nae Salanghaneun Adeul , (In Korean meaning My dear Sons)      As you grow, there shall be extents in life when you might feel glued. The things around, passing scenarios, existing dilemmas, and even the behaviour of loved ones might not be making any sense to you. Your dreams may be looking distant, the purpose for the moment lost and you may start wondering about the ultimate game of life. The questions about your existence start challenging your efforts and actions. But in these times, you must conserve the highest of hope and faith that some transformation is near. It is because the c...

  My commitment as a growing mother and as a learning parent is to facilitate my sons to grow into beautiful spirits who know to share, care, love, and most importantly respect all beings around them. I think that whether it is a patriarchal assignment of a female or a hierarchically enrolled task of a male, both should be learned by every kid. The whole notion that boys are supposed to be strong and girls are meant to be pretty is debatable in my belief . The adjectives shouldn't be followed by any specific gender . I often see questionable eyes when I tell them that my son adores playing with the kitchen set. My question to those eyes is why should a color rift or task division be embodying a particular gender? A girl can have blue as her special color and a boy can enjoy pink. A boy can love his teddy and a girl can idolize racing a bike. I'm sure you will concede that gender neutrality and gender equality are something we have to bestow to our kids . They say genuine lea...

  Brahmin Dream (Pic from internet) Once upon a time, there lived a poor Brahmin in a village. He begged for a living. One day he got a barley meal. He ate a bit and put the rest in a pot that he hung by his cot. As he gawked at the pot, he began to daydream. He dreamt that if a famine came to the land, then he could trade it for a hundred coins. With these silver coins, he would buy a set of goats. They would have fledglings every six months and promptly he would cultivate a herd of goats. Then he would sell the goats for cows and then buffaloes and then mares. The mares would have horses and he would sell them for gold. With this earned gold, he would buy a large house. Soon, a prosperous man would come by and offer his daughter in marriage, along with a dowry. They would marry and soon the wife would have a son. When the son was old enough to ride on his knee, he would take a book, sit on the stable roof, and think. Then the son would see him, jump from his mother’s lap in his e...

Move on!!   Disclaimer- This post is part of trait-series-for-kids which I began to search and write for my kids in 2019. With this series of blog posts containing knowledge-slash-experience, I pray from the almighty that our kids have a simple but magical life. The contents of the series are the outcome of the rigorous search, several readings and experiences, and self-reflection. Each trait post will end in a mantra to follow. Dear Filho , Existence is simple if you want it. Life is enjoyable if you work with it. One of the major challenges you will deal with as you leave your nest is encountering competition leading to that inevitable urge to prove yourself. An enormous surge to be at the prime always. Facing the infinite and continual thrusts from others. The rush of adrenaline!! By definition, "competition" means the activity or condition of striving to gain or win something by defeating or establishing superiority over others . Seems harsh...but hey, Competition is not...

  In Search ... Disclaimer- The contents of the post are the outcome of the search, several readings and experiences, and majorly self-reflection. ------ Becoming Malang is my ultimate aim for life … I guess . This Malangness might assist me to act with decent perfection in any tiny or huge event, gain every experience to enrich my soul, and yet help me remain unaffected by the consequence. Malang is a Sufi word, otherwise called bairagi in Hindi. So the meaning derived for Malang is the one who lives and experiences the worldly life with every comfort (and discomfort) without getting tied to the result and hence, celebrates supreme freedom during the pilgrimage of life before reaching the absolute goal, called death. I am yet to come together with the 'real'  bairagi . And I am far (precisely Sun-from-Pluto-type far ) from evolving to become the one !! But there are instances when this Malang -moment clicks before me.  Like…The innocent smile on my mother’s face em...

  Image from internet Disclaimer- This book review is majorly a self-contemplation. The personalized meaning derived from the book vis-à-vis life experiences. The quotes are used directly from the book. I flipped through this book in 2017 while I was going through an enormous change in my personal and professional life- Mental, emotional and physical change due to embracing motherhood and a shift in job assignment. It was a period I got to understand what’s juggling between household and job is all about. While I could associate with a lot of the topics and opinions dealt with in this book and I'm most clearly within the target audience that the author was aiming to reach, but it wasn't life-changing or masterfully enlightening. Overall, the book made me feel better about my life choices and endorsed the " you're not alone " reassurance. I am happy to spend two days on this read as it added a different perspective of humanity.  The message I acquired after readin...

Getting Ready to move out Disclaimer- This post is part of trait-series-for-kids which I began to search and write for my kids in 2019. With this series of blog posts containing knowledge-slash-experience, I pray from almighty that kids have simple but a magical life. The contents of the series are the outcome of the rigorous search, several readings and experiences, and self-reflection. Each trait post will end in a mantra to follow. ------ Mio Caro Figlio !!      As you grow, you will flee the protecting nest of ours and attempt to discover your path into this incredible world…fulfilling what your soul desires. You will constantly hear about "positive attitudes" but the son(s), let me tell you about developing "simple attitudes".       Scientifically, 'Attitude' is composed of three factors, which comprise a cognitive component, an affective or emotional component, and a behavioral component. The cognitive component is based on evidence or knowledge...

Disclaimer - This post is part of trait-series-for-kids which I began to search and write for my kids in 2019. With this series of blog posts containing knowledge-slash-experience, I pray from almighty that our kids have simple but a magical life. The contents of the series are the outcome of the rigorous search, several readings and experiences, and self-reflection. Each trait post will end in a mantra to follow.  ------       My dear पुत्र !! ,     I wish I could say that I'm a 100% fearless person, but I'm not. At best, I'm an individual who does some scary things… even though I am terrified while doing them. The most courageous thing I have done to date is… giving birth to two beautiful boys… besides undertaking an open debate competition ( which I never won ), scuba-dived through a wreck 90 feet down ( which I enjoyed ), skydiving, road driving, and tattooing.       In my perception, courage is composed of two things: The abil...

Even if fathers are shouldering their fair share of chores, it seems that many women of my generation (including myself) still carry the mental load, and believe that if they didn’t the household would fall apart. If you read the last sentence and thought to yourself “well it would”, there’s a good chance you’re struggling under the weight of the mental load yourself. It’s known as the  “mental load”  - the burden of remembering, and usually also executing, the myriad tasks required to keep a household ticking over. In all cases (with exception of very few) the mental load is shouldered by the woman of the house, no matter how demanding a career she may also have. What Is The Mental Load? The mental load is the total sum of responsibilities that you take on to manage “the remembering of things.” It has to do with  emotional labor , defined by Arlie Hochschild in the 1983 book  The Managed Heart: Commercialization of Human Feeling , as the process of managing emotions...