Be a self-competitor (Advice to my kids)

Move on!!

 

Disclaimer- This post is part of trait-series-for-kids which I began to search and write for my kids in 2019. With this series of blog posts containing knowledge-slash-experience, I pray from the almighty that our kids have a simple but magical life. The contents of the series are the outcome of the rigorous search, several readings and experiences, and self-reflection. Each trait post will end in a mantra to follow.

Dear Filho,

Existence is simple if you want it. Life is enjoyable if you work with it.

One of the major challenges you will deal with as you leave your nest is encountering competition leading to that inevitable urge to prove yourself. An enormous surge to be at the prime always. Facing the infinite and continual thrusts from others. The rush of adrenaline!!

By definition, "competition" means the activity or condition of striving to gain or win something by defeating or establishing superiority over others. Seems harsh...but hey, Competition is not invariably a bad thing because, you see, this competition helped in the survival of the human species. The pursuit for better food, better habitat, etc. helped us …as the human race… to evolve as the dominant creature on the earth. And that is, in my view, a macroscopic way to view the term “competition”.

But competing to survive on daily basis and to fulfill the earthly affairs is our choice. Because the need and requirement vary from person to person and accordingly, the scope and intensity of the competition as well as its understanding becomes very person-specific.

In many ways, competition is stressful. I grew up in an era where many deem it as a strong driver of personal growth. I retain serious burns from this competitive fire. I was honored for this utmost desire to compete and stand out during school and college days, although, no one saw the toll it took on me. My emotional account underwent a severe bump. The sentiment of being alone still horrifies me. And to date, there are times when I have to put a cognitive brake and stop myself from entering that endless spiral of competitive greed. With packs of patience and several experiences (majorly bitter ones), I am slowly and gradually cultivating internal competition. I have found that Self-competition is much more productive than external one.

Competition should be about tracking down your unrealized potential. You will never beat your future self—because, by definition, your future self will always be one step ahead. You can thrive to accomplish your ideal self...which you dream to be. See, when you try to compete with others, you are obeying rules instead of creating your own game. So, be the creator of your own life.

I once read somewhere about PACT i.e. Setting purposeful, actionable, continuous, trackable goals. And ever since, I have made a pact with myself of being a self competitor with kindness and subtlety. And as I see currently, my life looks more joyful than my past despite the permanent presence of superficial competitions invariably inclined to misdirect me.

Memorize, it is ok to not be competitive. If you are at peace with yourself and fulfilling what your heart desires, believe me, I shall be the happiest mother to see you that way. 

When you compete with yourself, you are, essentially, dismissing other people's measures for success. You might find yourself pursuing something that would seem crazy or like a waste of time to someone else, but it doesn't matter — you aren't subject to what they think of you.

Hope you become a prosperous internal competitor.

With love, 

Your Mama

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A trait no. 03- Internal competition is best.

Mantra no. 03- Always know you are a butterfly- in the making.

“To be a champion, compete; to be a great champion, compete with the best; but to be the greatest champion, compete with yourself.” ― Matshona Dhliwayo

See the previous post on the same- Advice to my kids- Be Alpha Type and Develop Simple Attitude