Be Alpha-type: Become fearless (Advice to my kids)

Disclaimer- This post is part of trait-series-for-kids which I began to search and write for my kids in 2019. With this series of blog posts containing knowledge-slash-experience, I pray from almighty that our kids have simple but a magical life. The contents of the series are the outcome of the rigorous search, several readings and experiences, and self-reflection. Each trait post will end in a mantra to follow. 

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    My dear पुत्र !! ,

    I wish I could say that I'm a 100% fearless person, but I'm not. At best, I'm an individual who does some scary things… even though I am terrified while doing them. The most courageous thing I have done to date is… giving birth to two beautiful boys… besides undertaking an open debate competition (which I never won), scuba-dived through a wreck 90 feet down (which I enjoyed), skydiving, road driving, and tattooing. 

    In my perception, courage is composed of two things: The ability to manage fear and the willingness to act. The secret to embedding courage in daily life is all about learning not to avoid fear, but to metabolize it, churn it and get energy from it by taking decisions and action. 

Courage and fear always exist together. 

    It can’t be any other way. If there is no fear, there is no need for courage. Even the dictionary meaning of brave is brave |brāv| adjective — ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage. 

    Courage is about something magical that happens inside us… to make us push through fear, self-doubt, anxiety, and do the things that feel hard or risky or frightening. 

    Courage is not always being something big. Sometimes, courage only has to happen for seconds at a time – just long enough to be brave enough. In scuba diving, for instance, fear can cause you to breathe too fast, swim too hard, move too suddenly, fail to take note of your surroundings or rise too quickly toward the surface. (I know--I've done every one of these). The same thing can happen in other high-pressure situations, such as if fear causes you to mumble or fail to focus on your audience while giving a presentation (speaking from my experience!!). 

    As I am writing this, I remember this famous quote by unknown “Courage is a beautiful trait to be developed with time. It allows you to pursue the life you want, to overcome obstacles that hold you back from living a full life, and to put your core values into action, and it also helps and elevates others along the way. It also helps you have better relationships and do better at work.” 

Courage is a habit, a process, and an aptitude. 

    BUT my dear kids …there is a subtle difference between being brave and being stupid. 

    Courage doesn’t have to mean taking random risks; it means taking calculated risks. From my experience, before attempting any bravery, do check the facts. Consult with trusted friends and family. Just don’t listen to increased heartbeat or that sound in the ear that makes your feet move backward (or forward). 

Be true to your intention and then act. 

    When I was young, I started out thinking that courage was innate, either you were or you weren’t brave, but I now realize that lots of the ingredients of courage can be—and are—learned. And like any acquired behavior, practice makes all the difference. 

    Every day you have a chance to be courageous. Every day is a chance to become a hero and to celebrate. 

    

    Start small and keep at it. I still remember the day you courageously attempted to walk. After every failed attempt at walking, you bravely stood and practiced to stand and walk. And see... how you run naturally now. 

    Some of the smallest things in life have the biggest impacts and shall enable you to unleash the courage. Here are a few of those aspects which I would love you to work on every single day of your life. 

1. Apologize. It takes strength to admit when you are wrong. 

2. Be yourself. Take off your mask. Don’t be fake. 

3. Take responsibility for your life and your actions and decisions. 

4. Keep your commitments. Never betray promises 

5. Forgive yourself. Forgive your parents (Seriously... we are making our best-est effort to give you the best). 

6. Listen. Listen to people particularly to the ones who disagree with you. It is a perfect opportunity to work on yourself. 

7. Help others and be ready to seek help. Always reach out and don't struggle alone. 

8. Practice gratitude. Always say THANK YOU loudly. 

9. And the most important of the courageous act is Loving Yourself. Accept your imperfections. Be your own best pal. Show yourself compassion, understanding, and admiration. 

It takes courage to be a genuine human. 

    And as your mother, I will be so proud to watch you guys rising as incredible courageous human beings. 

    With loads of love, 

    Your माँ 

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Trait no. 01- Be Brave 

Mantra no. 01- Life is tough my dear boys, but so are you. 

“Don’t be afraid of your fears. They’re not there to scare you. They’re there to let you know that something is worth it.”― C. JoyBell C.