Don't be shy, seek help! (Advice to my kids)

Beste zonen (Dear Sons in Dutch),

    I am preparing you to be brave and face the worldly challenge with patience in heart. But the experiences are different for everyone, and I also understand you will face your set of challenges in life. During those times, I urge you to be brave enough to seek help without hesitation.

    Recently, while waiting for a flight at Mumbai airport, I overheard a loud conversation that automatically reached my ears. The conversation went like this-

…..

Person A- “My sister never help me.”

Person B- “Why, what happened…”

Person A - “Ärey I helped her so much as soon as she asked me, but she was not there for me when I required.”

Person B- “But did you even bother to ask her or seek help by direct communication”

Person A- “Well, she should have understood; why do I need to ask her. She is my family and must know what I need then.”

…..

    I kept thinking about this conversation on my flight, realising how common this thought and kind of conversation are. I wondered how long I had been on both sides of this situation- being a complainant and being complained about. The overall review led to this blog post because this is another trait I want you to develop.

Barak Obama once said - "Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength. It shows you dare to admit when you don't know something and to learn something new."

Seeking help is an art. This art is as old as nature, but this is turning out to be a rare commodity.

Being human can be tricky when performance matters and the presentation empowers reality. And somewhere in the process of living, we forget to live and be honest. Because if we are accurate, we require help in the same spirit of extending support, and this realisation should be ingrained in your heart (I am praying for this to happen).

In a society that focuses on providing help, whether asked or not, the rate emphasises seeking help is counted on the lower side. The seekers are tagged as weak or are looked at as a person of poor attitude or knowledge and, sometimes, manner.

In due time you shall also come to experience that people around you feel that person should directly help them without asking…but, mind it, that is the wrong attitude. Because in our busy lives, despite acknowledging that communication in an open and elaborate sense is necessary, the distance-connection by an electronic mode has presented a hole in sensing emotions. You must always respect this fact and thus be vigilant to openly communicate the need to seek help (in any sense... mental, emotional, monetary, or in the superficial chit-chat form etc.)

Me and your father are always with you. But we shall be proud and numerously grateful if you can say “I need help” by keeping aside the ego the entitlement, and in those times, we shall be ensured that you are a brave person who knows to prioritise yourself first. You will no longer struggle alone. You can build better relationships. It teaches you to develop coping strategies.

I leave you two to explore and develop your own ways of communication to seek help from your family, friends, neighbours, colleagues, fellow mates and even strangers. Good luck!!

Mantra for you - Always be grateful if someone helps you. Also, be thankful if anyone doesn't because you may never know their side of the struggle. Be respectful. And thus be restful.


Love,

Your Moeder (Mother in Dutch)