Book Review- The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

 

The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked.

If you ever implored yourself "what's the point of life "… STOP YOUR THOUGHT…. Read this book!!!

It presents Adlerian psychology about how to change your mindset to fulfill a simpler and happier life.

The Courage to Be Disliked is a Japanese exploration of the work of 19th-century psychologist Alfred Adler written in the setup of dialogue or rather a conversation between a skeptical and somewhat bitter student and a reclusive Philosopher. Throughout the book, the boy undergoes a transition and gets a new outlook on life based on the philosophy of the book.

Kishimi and Koga believe if we become a little more courageous and know that what others think of us is completely beyond our control, it can set us on the path to a peaceful existence. It’s a philosophy that’s profoundly liberating, letting us develop the courage to improve and to ignore the limitations that we and those around us can place on ourselves.

Here are the 4 highlights of the book:

1. It’s hazardous to speculate that your past determines your future.

2. If you focus on what’s wrong with you, you might be looking for reasons to loathe yourself on purpose.

3. Most of what we think of as competition is just made up and is spoiling our prosperity.

4. Ultimately, the gist of the book and the reason why the title is called The Courage to be Disliked and the point that the writers are making is that to be free, you need to have the courage to be disliked. When you have achieved that courage, your heavy interpersonal relationships will all at once change into things of lightness.


Well, my takeaway from the first read of this book is -

Life is celebrated at its best when lived simply and to have this simplicity…one has to invariably make a constant and patient work toward evolving a better version of self. For this betterment, an ample amount of strength is required to encounter the bitterness and remarks from others. So, to enjoy the present moment of life and to proclaim the abundance of always existing peace and happiness of mind, heart, and soul, one should have the courage and determination to dis-invest any negative energy coming from self-criticisms or others and to accept being disliked by others. Because it is their task to dislike, not ours to acknowledge their dislike-ment.

Indeed a great book, something I’m sure I’ll keep revisiting from time to time.

The book has a plethora of enlightening points and quotes. They can be used as daily motivators to keep oneself on track with a positive mindset. Hereby sharing a few –

“A healthy feeling of inferiority is not something that comes from comparing oneself to others; it comes from one’s comparison with one’s ideal self.”

“Do Not Live to Satisfy the Expectations of Others”

“We do not lack ability. We just lack courage. It all comes down to courage.”

“What another person thinks of you—if they like you or dislike you—that is that person’s task, not mine.”

“As long as you are dancing, you will get somewhere.”

“Once one is released from the schema of competition, the need to triumph over someone disappears.”

And my favorite-

“The world is simple, and life is too.”