Make a shift- Sweep out the “Guilt” from within

 

After many years of dwelling a life-in-guilty, I uncovered that all the guilt in my world was nothing but an outcome of over-exaggeration and over-thinking!!

If you had asked me five years back about my "priority list" … it looked something like this-

My old equation= Family (including friends) + Work + Chores + Other (including self-care)

I was always tough on myself and the self-deprecating feelings like "I'm not doing enough for my kids/ partner/ parent /friends/job. What is wrong with me?" used to constantly nag me. I was full of self-doubts. I was the biggest critique of myself. The notions of self-gratitude were equivalent to selfishness in my life’s dictionary.

After loads of (bitter) experiences, I found that this guilt trip is not personal to me. Most of us are suffering or have suffered from guilt at some point in life. The beginning of this infamous jaunt probably lies in our socialization. Across societies, we have been socialized for thousands of years to get along with others, not hurt anybody's feelings, and take care of loved ones. Our mindset is hemmed like it. If others are not pleased (and by others I mean any second-person besides yourself), the result is living with an unsettling feeling of guilt.

Guilt is an incredibly powerful emotion. There is a wide range of things to feel guilty about – from feeling guilty about eating the last piece of pizza to feeling guilty about someone you hurt in the past. While searching, I found an interesting fact about guilt- “…regardless of where the guilt comes from, the stress of the guilt…itself can have a serious effect on some people. While most psychological, some physical effects can include insomnia, a loss of appetite, and an overall dreary feeling. Guilt happens to share a lot of symptoms with depression, and depression can develop within someone with severe guilt issues…”

However, this blog post is not about suggesting ways of getting over the guilt. One’s willingness and understanding of guilt can define her/his way out of it.

This post is a gentle reminder to stop torturing ourselves, to quit the blame game, and to get to the root of the guilt. Because irrational feelings about a situation or a person… that isn’t necessarily our fault or have no control over…are just a waste of time and energy.

As they say “the only person you can control is yourself”, making oneself the only In-charge of one's feelings and reactions is the first step of cleansing the rubbish collected during guilt trip.

My earnest request is - Apologize sincerely and make amends if necessary, but never let someone else define how your mistake should make you feel. Because at the end of the day, you are just one person, and you weren’t meant to bear the world’s problems. Just do your best, be who you are, and realize that it isn’t your responsibility to fix every problem in society.

Here’s the final truth of the first step for the process of sweeping the guilt from within. Because in my old equation (see above) self-care came at the end, it rarely came into play. So, bringing myself to the top of the priority list became the key to open the door of guilt-free life.

My “as-on-date” equation= Self-care + Family (including friends) + Work + Chores + Other

Self-love first, always!!💃💓