Friendship Recession (My Old-soul Twinkle)

Disclaimer: “My Old-soul Twinkle,” is my heartfelt attempt to capture the endless stream of thoughts racing through my mind. At times, these musings may seem confusing—or even a little "out there"—but I genuinely welcome your counterpoints and insights. Dive in and share your thoughts!


Friendships bloom in countless forms. They are the essential emotional bedrock for human survival. Consider the healthy, respectful bond between parents; the mischievous, shared history of siblings; the fiery camaraderie of college friends, or the innocent joy of schoolyard pals. There's the electric connection of a romantic friendship, the enduring covenant of a lifelong married partnership, and the gentle, blessed wisdom shared with grandparents. These connections—be they the blood of the heart or the bond of shared experience—stand as equals to, if not exceeding, any biological ties.

I have been truly blessed with the presence of many profound friendships in my life. Yet, to be honest with myself, a deep-seated shyness surfaces whenever the topic of close relationships arises. As a deeply private person, my expression of friendship is never a grand, public "celebration" with bright, colourful gifts or flamboyant gestures. Instead, my friendships are defined by a quiet, unwavering support—a presence that remains steadfast even when the rest of the world might turn away.

Guided by an intense sense of loyalty (a trait that is deeply ingrained in my chromosomes) and a tendency toward deep introspection, I find that forming new bonds is a slow, measured process. I don't believe in quick judgments, choosing instead to follow the quiet, insistent voice of my intuition when navigating the complexities of human connection. So far, this quiet, protective strategy has served my heart well, ensuring that the few friends I have are true and deeply valued.

The new era, defined by perpetual 'busyness' and a physical distance offset by constant online presence, has twisted my understanding of what friendship truly means—a curious dichotomy indeed.

 I feel I belong to one of the last generations who witnessed smile-filled-tears in my mother's eyes as she read the letter, the heartfelt exchange of meticulously chosen greeting cards for Friendship Day, or New Year's. There was a genuine, painstaking effort involved in sketching a feeling (like Papa’s birthday) or writing an emotion with a pen, confined by limited space of postcard or letter sheet, and utterly without the crutch of autocorrect. The ritual of sending postcards to 'book-friends' or penning letters to friends who lived kilometres away during the long summer breaks, and then the exquisite, heart-pounding anticipation of waiting for a reply to arrive—how my heart aches for the lost excitement of those days!

The current era is witnessing a "friendship recession". I feel like, although the number of connections in a profile is exceeding 10K, the prevalence of genuine, heart-to-heart friendships is declining. We may be forming acquaintances out of societal necessities, but these often seem limited to "in-front-of-the-camera" types of interactions.

This recession in true, genuine friendship is leaving a basic human requirement unmet, causing it to swing between expectations and justifications. This includes the expectation of online validation in form of likes or party invitations, and the justification that more contacts mean one is extraverted and perfect, while fewer contacts signify being reserved like a taboo. While there's no inherent right or wrong in these metrics, I wonder, this recession shall ultimately leave our souls and hearts thirsty for proper understanding and authenticity.

Is the solution a tiny attempt of true connection, or must society break to stop the deadly crisis of the "friendship recession" and finally value the sacred bond of human relationships?