Book Review- 8 Rules of Love by Jay Shetty

This book is my second read from Jay Shetty after Think Like Monk . As mentioned in the previous book's review, Jay Shetty has become the brand ambassador for bringing vedic wisdom into the modern lifestyle. Due to this amalgamation of varied spiritual topics he presents through his writings, he has become one of my faviourte writers. The simple writings with a direct, straightforward approach to the issues at hand make it seem that he is living his writings, as reflected in the practical guides/ suggestions approach in his chapters.

8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go is not just a guide to finding love; it's a comprehensive exploration of the very essence of love. The book doesn't shy away from the issues we all face in our relationships, making it a relatable and understanding companion on our journey to love.

Too often, we navigate the world of relationships with only romantic movies and pop culture as our guides. Inspired by Vedic wisdom and modern science, Jay Shetty takes a practical approach to the entire relationship cycle. He defines love as a verb that requires constant care and attention, empowering readers with actionable advice.

Connecting the age-old stages of vedic life, he connects the concept of love in connected four stages-

Brahmacharya (Solitude): This is where we prepare for love. We learn to love ourselves and be happy as we are.

Gṛhastha (Compatibility): Here, we practice love. We extend love to others and deal with the challenges that love brings.

Vanaprastha (Healing): Next, we must protect love, be it the one we have for ourselves after a breakup or the shared love with others.

Sannyasa (Connection): Finally, we can perfect love. We can feel connected to the entire world and experience love with anyone.

For fulfilling these stages, the book offers eight rules-

1. “Let yourself be alone” emphasises the importance of self-love and self-sufficiency. It advises against using another person to fill a void in ourselves, as this approach often leads to unhealthy relationships. Instead, the book encourages readers to learn to be happy on their own first, fostering a solid foundation for any future relationship.

2. “Don’t ignore your karma”. We attract what our attitude seems to ask for. If we have a “fixer” mindset, every partner will look like a project.

3. “Define love before you think it, feel it, or say it.” What does “I love you” mean to one? Is it a big deal? Do we say it to anyone? We need to define our definition of love.

4. “Your partner is your guru.” They should be someone we learn with, from, and through. Nobody is perfect, but if our long-term partner is our long-term teacher, we’ll never stop growing.

5. “Purpose comes first.” Supporting ourselves in fulfilling our individual goals and extending support to our partners in their goals helps in the life-long growth process and maintains our individuality.

6. “Win or lose together.” It’s normal and healthy to disagree, but if we approach each conflict as a team, we’ll fight the situation instead of each other.

7. “You don’t break in a breakup.” Don’t run away at the first sign of difficulty, but remember that we are still a whole, lovable, valuable person, all on our own.

8. “Love again and again.” Broaden our view of love and reach good feelings with the community. Experience it with everyone.

Overall, this is a good book. It is not "new" and unprecedented but still useful. Jay Shetty's writing is a masterpiece. The book is a good read.

After all, we all dream of a world filled with love, and what better way to learn how to put love into the world and in everything we do!!

“When attraction develops into Love, it requires more care. When we want to keep a flower alive, don’t cut it and put it in a vase. We give it sunlight, soil, and water. It’s only when you care for a flower over time, doing your best to keep it alive, that you fully experience its beauty — the freshness, the color, the scent, the bloom. You notice the delicate detail on each petal. You watch it respond to the seasons. You find joy and satisfaction when a new bud appears and feel a thrill when it blossoms.”